What I've been up to:

I recently launched the Mindful Muslim Masterclass: a 3-week video based program showing you how to transform your life from the inside out.

You’ll learn why willpower isn't the problem, how your underlying beliefs affects your behaviour and how to work with your brain not against it to create lasting change.

It will save you years of trial and error.

Click here to learn more.

- - - - - - - - - -

You decide your emotions.

Go ahead, roll your eyes. I'll wait.

I used to have the same reaction.

Easy for you to say, I'd think.

You don't have my life, my circumstances, my problems.

I used to hand out my emotional remote control like party favors.

My boss got it Monday through Friday.

My family had weekend privileges.

Random strangers in traffic could grab it whenever they wanted.

Angry customers at work? They pressed "stress."

Cancelled plans? Press "Disappointment"

Long line at the store? Hello, "irritation."

My emotions were like a spoiled kid in a candy shop, screaming because her favorite treat was sold out. And I was the exhausted mother, patting her head and saying, "You're not the problem, sweetie. You have every right to be upset."

I was so busy justifying my reactions that I never stopped to question whether I even had to react at all...

"They made me feel…"

You can't control your emotions because you believe that they're caused by external circumstances.

Imagine a baby grabbing a fistful of their hair, yanking hard, and then crying out in shock, convinced that the pain is caused by someone else.

But it’s not.

It’s their own grip that’s causing the pain.

Most people never outgrow that baby stage when it comes to their emotions.

Instead of hair, they’re pulling on stories, assumptions, expectations, and worst-case scenarios, and then blame everything but themselves.

They live like emotional marionettes, yanked around by strings they swear are in someone else’s hands.

Think about it.

Every time you say, “They made me angry” or “That ruined my day,” you tighten those strings, reinforcing the lie that you have no control over your emotions.

It’s a comfortable lie, sure, because if it’s someone else’s fault then you’re off the hook.

You get to be the victim.

You tell yourself, “If they would just stop, I could finally be happy.”

But that day never comes, does it?

Because there’s always another “them.”

Another rude comment.

Another unexpected bill.

Another human behaving like, well, a human.

You keep surrendering your peace to the slow driver in front of you, your confidence to a negative comment and your joy to whether or not people behave the "right" way.

You tell yourself, “They made me feel this way,” not realizing it’s your own grip, your own interpretation and your thoughts that are causing your negative emotions.

The world isn’t yanking your hair.

You are.

Your Interpretation Filter

Have you ever noticed how two people can go through the exact same event and walk away feeling completely different about it?

"We need to talk”

For one person, their stomach drops.

“What did I do wrong? Am I in trouble?”

Anxiety floods in.

For another person, they smile and think,

“Finally, maybe this is about that promotion or a new opportunity.”

They feel excited.

Same message.

Totally different emotions.

The difference?

Not the message itself, but the meaning they attached to it.

This is how your interpretation filter works.

It’s not the event that creates your feelings, it’s your thoughts about the event.

How you explain it to yourself. The story you tell in your head.

One person gets rejected and treats it like the end of the world. They replay every detail, wondering what they “did wrong” or how they could have acted differently.

They can’t imagine finding someone else like that person, so they fall into self blame and stay stuck.

Another person experiences the same rejection but sees it as a step closer to meeting the right person. They trust that what Allah has written for them will never pass them by, and they know it doesn’t necessarily mean they did anything wrong, it simply wasn’t a match.

They accept it and move on.

Switch the lens, change the feeling.

Being optimistic and having good thoughts about Allah isn’t just a personality trait, it’s sunnah.

But don’t get me wrong, optimism is not the same as toxic positivity.

Everyone feels negative emotions sometimes.

You’re allowed to feel sad, even the prophets did.

So when I say “be optimistic,” I mean adopting the attitude that everything that happens to you as a Muslim is good, no matter how much pain you’re in.

If something good happens, you turn it into gratitude.

If something bad happens, you still find a way to see the good in it and seeks Allah's reward through patience.

Either way, you win.

"Why would i choose to feel positive thoughts when something negative happens? My negative feelings are justified."

Sure.

They might be justified.

But here’s the reality:

Negative thoughts → Negative emotions → Negative actions → Negative results →

Repeat.

Do you really want to stay stuck in that cycle?

Allah has gifted you with free will.

You always have a choice.

It doesn’t matter what you think you “should” feel, or what someone else would feel in your situation.

Justified or not, negative reactions will drain you, make you reactive, cause you to loose out on good deeds and lead to more negative outcomes.

That’s a fact.

So if you want to feel bad, go ahead.

But the fact that you're still reading shows me that you don't.

And since you don't want to feel bad, you simply choose not to.

You decide to focus on the good.

It's really that simple.

Look at the people of Gaza.

How many videos have you seen of them complaining? Feeling sorry for themselves?

None.

And if anyone is justified to feel sad, it’s them.

But what do you hear instead?

“Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji’un.”

“Hasbi Allah wa ni‘mal wakeel.”

SubhanAllah…

This is what it looks like to truly believe that everything that happens to a believer is good.

They know Jannah is waiting.

They know they’re being rewarded for patience.

They know that complaining won’t change reality, but being content with Allah’s decree will.

That’s the level of emotional control we need as Muslims.

If they can do it, despite the severity of their trial, so can you

May Allah ease their pain, accept them as martyrs, grant them victory, and reward them with Al-Firdaws.

Ameen.

So if it’s true that I choose my emotions, why would I choose to feel this bad?

Because playing the victim is comfortable.

It’s familiar.

It’s safe.

Part of you likes it because it asks nothing of you, it costs nothing, and you’ve practiced it your whole life.

It’s easier to complain about what’s wrong than to hold yourself accountable for changing it.

You've gotten addicted to complaining, it's your automatic response.

The path of least resistance.

But at some point, you have to get so fed up with being yanked around by your feelings that you decide, once and for all, that you’re taking back control.

Here are 5 steps to help you reclaim your emotional control and choose peace, no matter what life throws at you.

1) Take Responsibility

If you don’t feel good right now, it’s for one of two reasons:

• A part of you enjoys playing the victim, complaining and blaming others for your feelings because it’s comfortable and doesn’t require responsibility.

• You want to feel good and take responsibility but you don't know how. You've been waiting for your circumstances to change because you believe that it's something external that is causing your negative emotions.

Either way, your first step is to find your internal motivation.

I can give you all the practical steps, but if you’re not fully committed to changing your behavior, they won’t work.

You must want to feel good.

That means dismissing all past “evidence” that told you you’re not in control of your emotions.

That was simply a misunderstanding.

You didn’t have the knowledge before, but now you do.

If you resist accepting this fact, ask yourself why.

• Does it feel too good to be true?

• Are you afraid of taking responsibility?

• Do you think that if you feel good, you won’t be motivated to change your situation?

• Do you secretly like complaining because it means you don’t have to take action?

Take a moment to write down every thought or story your mind tells you about why this won’t work for you, why your situation is “different” or “special.”

Then, read through what you wrote. Use this as a way to clear out the resistance and get to know yourself more deeply.

Clarity is the first step toward real change.

2) Become Aware & Curious

Question your reactions. Observe your feelings.

Emotional mastery doesn’t mean becoming emotionless.

It means having the awareness to feel your emotions, understand them, and decide how you’ll respond.

So once you accept that it’s your thoughts, not the event, the person or circumstance, that create your emotions, the next step is to identify which thoughts are triggering those feelings.

If you don’t do this, you’ll always feel like a slave to your emotions, letting other people’s actions decide your mood for the day.

When you feel triggered, pause and ask:

• What am I telling myself about what’s happening?

• What does this situation mean to me or about me?

• Why do I feel the need to react?

• How does this reaction serve me?

3) Shift Your Filter

You’re a Muslim, so everything that happens to you is good.

Either you get rewarded for patience, or you get rewarded for gratitude.

Adopt the filter: “Only good things happen to me” and “Everything is always working out for me.”

Repeat until you believe it.

Start looking for evidence, even in the smallest moments.

If something contradicts it, shift your focus to something else that is working out.

“With hardship comes ease” [94:5]

and the ease is always more than the hardship.

So don't tell me "nothings going my way"

You feel that way because you've focused on the negative for so long that your brain filters out the positive.

Start actively searching for the good, and you’ll see it everywhere.

And if you can’t see any good yet, trust Allah.

When you start worrying or spiralling into negative thoughts, remind yourself:

"Allah is taking care of me. I trust Him. He will give me a way out. Only good will come from this test. I am patient."

4) Remember That Allah Sees

One of the most powerful realizations I had after reverting to Islam is that Allah sees everything.

If someone lies about you, Allah knows.
If someone mistreats or harasses you, Allah knows.
If someone cuts you off in traffic or disrespects you, Allah knows.

This means you no longer need to waste your energy convincing others, defending yourself, or reacting impulsively.

Your reward and justice are with Allah.

As Muslims, this isn’t just a comforting idea, it’s the foundation of sabr.

It’s what allows you to stay calm when provoked, hold your tongue when anger tempts you, and see Allah’s wisdom in hardship.

The Prophet ﷺ said: “The example of a believer is that of a fresh tender plant; from whatever direction the wind comes, it bends it, but when the wind becomes quiet, it becomes straight again…” [Bukhari]

When you feel triggered, remember to seek refuge from Shaytan

Ask Allah to make things easy for you, to open your heart to see His countless blessings, and to fill you with gratitude.

You don’t have to face your struggles alone, nor pretend you don’t need help.
Allah loves when you turn to Him and rely on His support.

5) Study the rewards for صبر Sabr

If Allah intends for a servant to reach a rank he is unable to reach by his good deeds, then Allah will put him to trial in his body or his wealth or his children, and he will be patient until he reaches the rank intended for him. [Ahmad]

A huge motivator to control your emotions is understanding the immense reward Allah has placed in sabr (perseverance).

I’ve noticed that many born Muslims have been taught to see sabr as something negative and passive, as if it means silently enduring hardship, avoiding confrontation, or holding your breath until it’s over.

But Sabr isn’t about suppressing emotions or ignoring problems.

صبر Sabr means restraint, perseverance, or endurance.

It's remaining steadfast during hardships, controlling one’s desires, and staying obedient to Allah even during difficult times.

Every time you control your reaction in the face of strong emotion, that’s sabr.

Every time you stay calm in a triggering situation, that’s sabr.

And the reward is immense.

The Prophet ﷺ said: “If Allah wants to do good to someone, He afflicts him with trials. Whoever is patient, Allah will reward him without limit.” [Bukhari & Muslim]

Sabr isn’t passivity or weakness, it’s an active choice to trust Allah’s wisdom, restrain your anger, and stay steadfast in faith right when the test hits.

The Prophet ﷺ passed by a woman who was weeping beside a grave. He told her to fear Allah and be patient. She said to him, "Go away, for you have not been afflicted with a calamity like mine." And she did not recognize him. Then she was informed that he was the Prophet ﷺ so she went to the house of the Prophet ﷺ and there she did not find any guard. Then she said to him, "I did not recognize you." He said, "Verily, the patience is at the first stroke of a calamity." [Bukhari]

This is why the power to control your emotions in the moment matters so much. If you let anger or despair take over immediately, you miss out on that immense rewards.

“No fatigue, nor disease, nor sorrow, nor sadness, nor hurt, nor distress befalls a Muslim, even if it were the prick he receives from a thorn, but that Allah expiates some of his sins for that.” [Bukhari & Muslim]

Every moment you practice sabr, your sins are forgiven, your rank is elevated, and your heart is purified.

So don’t underestimate the power of being able to control yourself the instant hardship strikes.

That’s all i got for you today.

JazakAllah khair for reading all the way to the end.

with love & du’as

- Lina ♡

Ps. If you’re ready to take this journey further and fully understand how your brain works, so you can transform your thoughts, emotions, and life from the inside out, check out the Mindful Muslim Masterclass.